Thursday, December 29, 2011

New Years Resolutions( being me and reflecting)

     Well it is that time of year again when we all look back at the year that is over, and wonder what the year ahead will bring.

     We think about what we want to change to make this year one in which we treat ourselves better or how we can be more successful in every way imaginable.

     You know how it goes....."this year I will exercise more and eat less."  Or maybe " I promise to be more productive and not be afraid to learn new things", blah blah blah.

    There is certainly nothing wrong with wondering how to be a better person to yourself and others, however please remember to celebrate all the wonderful things you did do. All the terrific things that happened and the people you have had to share this last year.  I believe we forget to congratulate ourselves for being great people. Sure we have our faults, we are human after all, but you know what, it is quite all right to pat yourself on the back once in a while. It keeps you on the right track just as well as being hard on yourself can.

   So say "I am wonderful for all the times I made cookies for my friends and told them I loved them."  or  " I am a good friend for listening when my friend needed to bitch and or cry."  maybe try "I was really patient when my kids pushed my buttons most the time."  Go ahead try it.

    This New year as the ball drops grab that horn and blow it for your accomplishments this year and the many more you will have this coming Year!

                                                                  Happy New Year to you all!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Christmas Memories (Being me)

     As the advent calendar gets filled up and the holidays get closer I am reminded of the importance of the holiday. Sure I stress over the gifts like everyone else. And I probably go a little over my budget. But isn't that what it's all about? Heck no!

     It's about these people we call family and friends and spending warm moments to make memories. I spent the weekend with some of the greatest people I know at our Annual Christmas weekend party. We didn't go any where special and we didn't spend any money while there on unnecessary stuff. We drank, ate and were Merry just to be together. The kids played until they fell down and so did we.

     And that was what made me remember that in six days it will not be about the number of gifts under the tree or how fat the stockings are, it will be about the time and memories we choose to create for ourselves as well as our family and friends.
     So stop in between the cookie making, the gift wrapping, the cooking and cleaning and make sure you are doing it all for the joy of it. Family and friends don't actually care if the wrapping is perfect, or if the cookies may be a bit burnt in some spots, in fact it's probably a relief to see yours are just like theirs, lol. Sit and watch some holiday movies and drink hot cocoa with the kids. They really do want to just spend time with you anyway.
     Of course for others the holiday mean even more. To you it may be a time to reflect, to rejoice, to remember, to make magic or to simply relax. So what ever you love to do and what ever it means to you to celebrate this holiday, remember to not let it get away and to enjoy every moment of it!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Being me (criticism and taking it perfectly, lol)


   During a heated discussion with my husband last night he told me I was unable to take criticism and accept when I was wrong. Not the best way to win said heated discussion, but after our discussion calmed and changed to a resolution those words sunk in and I thought about what he had said.

     Today actually was when I had a chance to really think about it. He wasn't trying to be mean or hurtful he was being honest and although I hated it, he was right (don't let it go to your head Bert). I realized that, well, not many people take criticism well and that it is a rare and difficult thing to accept when you are wrong. It is also very easy be the critic but not the recipient so be careful when you are said critic. It takes practice and honestly a real high level of confidence to do either.

      I realized also that I don't have that level of confidence and fight tooth and nail to justify all my actions and thoughts whether they are right, wrong or even indifferent simply because I want to be validated. I feel guilty when I mess up and fight even harder to justify it because of said guilt. I don't always feel confident in my choices and my worth in this life and I project that to others in ways I don't always realize hurts them. For this I am truly sorry and hope to change it even if to stop hurting myself by this behavior.  Please understand I am not sharing this to get a poor baby out of it, I just wanted to share this to help others who are feeling this way to. I am not looking for sympathy, just understanding ( validation thing again,ugh). Anyway.....

      It is hard to step outside of your own head and look back in, but I am trying and hoping to find the confidence that I deserve in myself.  I see it in others all the time, a friend who belittles her shape, talent or worth and it is easy to point out that they are wonderful but how to get them (and yourself) to see it and believe it is the trick. I am planning to try harder to love myself and let the stupid shit just roll off and learn from my mistakes, and accept them as such. I also want to get better at taking criticism, for how can one grow if not by taking the criticism.

     Trust me there is a never ending supply of critics and some are so  not worth your time to listen to, but others are and that is where you need to be confident in yourself. If you are, than you can either to throw them away as garbage or take them as knowledge for growth.

     May you love yourself as much as others do and learn to grow with grace, and if not give them hell instead, lol.