Being Me (The perfect mom)

     I am not sure I ever thought being a parent would be easy, in fact the thought terrified me for a long time. Hence having Jake at 38 years old. And now I realize I was right to be terrified.

     Somehow my mom made it look so simple and easy, or maybe I just remember it differently since I was the child then and couldn't see the difference between laughing at something funny and laughing because you are having a nervous breakdown. Thank goodness for a child's innocent mind huh? Anyway she was and still is awesome. I actually thought as a grownup that the house should be clean and the laundry done and the dinner on the table because, well you were home and that was your job. That is how easy she made it look. I even recall thinking, why is so and so's house such a mess when she is home all day(can you say delusional!). By the way to so and so, I am an ass and I am so sorry.

     Now that I am the mom of a almost three year old I still marvel at how hard it is to be a parent. I am so lucky to be able to be at home with Jake just like my mom and my job like all parents does not end at 8pm when he goes to bed, and every day is a challenge. My house is not always clean and the laundry piles up and dinner is going to be ready some nights when you get leftovers out of the fridge.

     But I hope that I am growing with each challenge and even though I am certainly not perfect and I make loads of mistakes (and I have so much guilt when I do), I hope that Jake will grow to remember me now as I remember my mom at his age.

     I would like to dedicate this to all and every mom that has or is now going through this journey. You are the perfect mom even when you don't feel like it.